Penguins: Swift swimmers of the bird world (Humor)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Column by Stanley Tate

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My cousin Kenny, who lives on Booger Hollow Road just south of Six Mile up in Floyd County, called the other day to tell me about a movie he saw on television. The movie was March of the Penguins, a story about Emperor Penguins. He liked it but it left him with questions.

Are they really birds? Can they fly? How fast can they swim? What do they eat? Do penguins walk funny because they don't have knees?

To save time and meet my deadline I'm going to clean up my email to Kenny and send it to the paper for everyone to read.

Yes, penguins are birds; and no, they can't fly. Other flightless birds -- ostriches and emus -- have long powerful legs for running. Even poor flyers such as the roadrunner have legs built to carry them away from danger. Penguins, on the other hand, have legs that seem to be better suited for entertainment -- they are short and stubby and barely get the job of walking done. But they do get the job done and that's all penguins care about.

It is actually a good thing that penguins have short legs since they spend most of their time in the ocean chasing fish and fleeing from leopard seals and toothed whales. Long legs would only create drag and slow them down. They propel themselves with their flipper-like wings. Their legs and feet only help with the steering.

There is no bird in the world that can match the penguin's swimming ability. The loons, the eiders, the puffins are all in the minor leagues when compared to penguins. What makes penguins such good swimmers? All of the aforementioned birds can fly; their wings still have flight feathers. Penguins decided long ago that if they had to be in the ocean most of their lives, they might as well go all in and quickly turned their wings into powerful flippers -- by quickly I mean several million years.

Not only are penguins champion swimmers, they are the top divers in the bird world. Most birds have hollow bones which keep them light enough to fly; but penguins have solid bones to facilitate deep dives. Emperor Penguins have been reported to dive as deep as 1,700 feet -- almost twice as deep as the Empire State Building is high and about three times the height of the pile of papers on my desk.

And yes, Kenny, penguins do have knees. The way penguins waddle along makes it seem that they don't, but their silly looking walk is only the result of having very short legs. Being a little on the chunky side doesn't help their stride either. Without knees they wouldn't be able to walk across the Antarctic, or lower themselves onto their eggs, or transfer their eggs from one pair of feet to another. A penguin's knees are hidden under its feathers and its feathers protect its knees from the Antarctic cold.

Thanks for the questions. Keep watching bird shows up there in Booger Hollow. Drop by the next time you get down this way.

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